NCWITB: Jason Segel is What's RIGHT About Our Generation

I just returned home from seeing The Muppet's and I have to say, I loved every minute of it. I cried in the beginning, I laughed all the way through, and that catchy tune---- "Life's A Happy Song"--- was hummed all the way through the parking lot (can we believe it was written by the guy from Flight of the Conchord's? Added bonus!)

The Muppet's, brought to us by resident funny man Jason Segel, was a nostalgic trip down memory lane. Before seeing the film, I heard mixed reviews from my friends...some loved it, but some felt as if it should have been more. Newer. A more "forward" story than the recycled old memories of Muppet's past. To these people I say: nobody cares what I think, but... shut the fuck up! Jason Segel's Muppet vision is what is RIGHT about our generation. It wasn't intended to be something new... I don't even think it was supposed to be for kids... he meant for it to be for us.

And when did our collective us become so critical? We're the kids in America! We drank Surge after ice skating practice while wearing scrunchies for God-sakes. We were and are THE generation for not being self conscious about looking completely ridiculous. The neon. The overalls. The Corey's! Think about some of your favorite movies... The Goonies... Back to the Future... these are not to be judged based on the standards of today, and I would argue they aren't meant to be judged by any standards at all. Nobody in their right mind would judge a movie like Clueless by the same guidelines of say... Schindler's List, and those who would live in a world like this have been working 9-to-5 for way too long (and NOT the awesome Dolly Parton version.)

I get it. The bills are piling up. Trust me, if anyone knows what it means to be cynical about the state of their life it's me... but Jason Segel knew exactly what would cheer us up: grabbing a bag of popcorn, turning off our iPhone's, and being transported... not forward, but backward... to a time when everything was easier, and cheaper, and a lot less stressful. (A time that included breakout musical numbers and the greatest thing of all: unapologetic cheesiness.)

31 year old Segel has given us a gift here. While it's true he didn't really give us something NEW, he did something just as important... he gave us something back. Do NOT get me wrong: as we sit in our cubicle's, angrily updating our Facebook status about the terrible service we got at Starbucks, we are completely allowed have whatever awful adult feelings we feel like having... we've earned it! 25-35 years of being pushed around has given us the right. But I urge you, no.. I BEG you... to let yourself get whisked away by The Muppets. The movie may not be something you haven't seen before, but chances are, it's something you haven't had the money or energy to experience in a long, long time.

Jason and I seem to agree; from time to time, if you allow yourself, going backward can be totally bitchin'.

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar Expecting Child Number 20 (A NCWITB Congratulations!)

Love them or hate them, chances are you were talking about the Duggar's today. After an announcement on the Today Show, the world has learned that Michelle and Jim Bob are expecting child number 20. It looks like they are going to (once again) change the title of their reality show 19 Kids and Counting.

A lot of people find their child hoarding controversial, but unlike other reality show celebrities they are clearly not in it for any sort of fame or money. They are good, honest, God fearing people and they know we're as fascinated with them and they probably are of us.

As I've said a million times, nobody cares what I think... however, I have to announce it: I love the Duggar's! I think Michelle is totally sweet and awesome and I am completely interested in their crazy lives. The whole natural family planning thing sort of freaks me out, but I'm 25 and have no money... these people are pro's! I say go for it Duggar's! Good or bad, we'll be watching.

NCWITB: Justin Bieber is NOT your Baby Daddy

First things first, I don't have any interest in Justin Bieber. I'm coming up on 25, and I prefer older men- sometimes MUCH older. I do not suffer from Bieber fever, and if I did, I'd head straight to my girl at the local pharmacy who is used to hooking me up for things of that nature. Justin is cute, it's undeniable... and the more he grows and looks less like Ellen, the hotter he gets... but the point I'm trying to make is, my defense of him has nothing to do with him at all. Nobody cares what I think, but... there is just no way in friggin hell Justin Bieber knocked up some girl in a bathroom.

In a world where every media outlet is jumping at the chance to rip apart celebs like Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian, no one ever stands up for them when there is a clear case of extortion going on. Does Justin Bieber have sex? Probably!!! But would a mega star who has millions of girls begging to get with him stoop to losing his virginity is a bathroom of the Staples Center while not using any protection? Come on people, this isn't an episode of Teen Mom.

The Baby Momma in question is Mariah Yeater, a now 20 (then 19) year old girl from California who apparently has signed an affidavit under oath claiming that Justin propositioned her for sex. That part of it may or may not be true people- lets get that straight. I don't think anyone in their right mind is denying that it's a possibility they had sex. Was it the way she described? Is the baby his? There. Is. No. Way.

Unless this girl is a complete idiot (which is all together possible, actually) she must realize that making these claims makes herself guilty of statutory rape. Nobody wants to be accused of that, even if the raped kid in question is The Biebs. It's obvious that the baby isn't actually his because if it was, she'd be guilty and probably have to serve jail time. By claiming that the baby is a Bieber and it actually isn't, this Mariah girl will make tons of money off the publicity surrounding the scandal, but will ultimately be found innocent of anything more scandalous than simply lying to the media. That is her motivation, and that is why this story will go down in history as another ridiculous false paternity claim against a major celebrity.

Justin's girlfriend, the adorable super celeb Selena Gomez, is just as sceptical of this fame-whore's attempt at collecting dough and was seen at a charity event recently looking confident, radiant, and unaffected. Their relationship is probably very real, regardless of the fact that they're young and famous, so I say we take a cue from Selena on this one and roll our eyes at the entire absurdity.

Regardless of whether you love or hate the tiny little pop sensation, you have to be rational and not buy in to the possibility that Justin Bieber would ever be reckless enough to risk his fortune and squeaky clean image for a quicky in some dirty bathroom at a concert. COME ON. I've done a lot of crazy things in a lot of crazy places, but this isn't a Van Halen reunion tour we're talking about here... it's the Biebs! Don't give these false claims any more attention because they don't deserve your energy. Save all your enthusiasm up for  the next time you go see Bieber live... because if his concerts are anything like Mariah Yeater claims, you're going to want to be focused and ready to "feel everything."

Kris Humphries & Kim Kardashian: Divorced! (A NCWITB Regret-to-Inform-You)

Everyone knows the news by now, Kim and Kris have decided to call it quits. Anyone who watched the wedding special on E! could see that there was something not right between them. I have to sympathize with my girl because I love love as well, and I completely understand her defense of having been swept up in the moment. The saddest thing to come out of this for Kim fans from Minneapolis is that she probably wont be popping up around town anymore. If you got your Kim sighting in, consider yourself lucky because the newly single Kim is likely to stay near her family in California through the holiday season.

Nobody cares what I think, but.... life is hard, love is harder, and some decisions are painful to make no matter who you are. Lay off Kim during this hard time. Was it a story of a media circus gone out of control? Yes. But was her love for Kris real at the time? No doubt about it.

NCWITB: The Kardashian's Are America (An Open Letter to President Obama)

Dear President Obama,

First and foremost I must say, we almost always agree. When I voted for you for president in 2008, I was idealistic about your platform and it's promises for America. Though many are mad at your lack of follow-through, I have remained a staunch supporter through all of your troubled times. Recently, however, your comments on a major political topic have got me second guessing where you stand on the important issues. Mr. Obama, there is NOTHING wrong with the Kardashian's.

The Kardashian's actually represent many of the things we both believe in. They have strong family values, placing importance on spending time with your family and looking out for them in times of need. As entrepreneurs, they have started companies from the bottom up and watched as their enterprises grew and grew- a small business owner success story (aka the American Dream.) Khloe has starred in a PETA ad attacking the use of real fur for fashion, which many Democrats would argue is a positive step for the campaign for animal rights. In a political climate such as ours, we need to stay optimistic about those who are willing to fight the good fight. The Kardashian's, I believe Sir, are doing just that.

While I understand that their superficial attitudes may be a somewhat negative influence on young girls, it is this very same lust for consumerism that drives the economy forward. In a way, the Kardashian's are helping lower the debt ceiling and their love of fashion, diamonds, and lavish vacations are really encouraging young people to do their part to stimulate the economy. While some of the more disenchanted youth today march to occupy Wall Street, Kardashian fans know that the real way to make an impact on the government is through the paying of sales and luxury taxes.

Democrats like us are open minded individuals, and we've built an entire political party based on equal rights and the fair treatment of everyone, no matter who they are or what they believe. The Kardashian's are admittedly controversial, but overall I would argue that they are a good representation of a tight-knit, personal business owning, tax paying American family. Mr. President, we have to support them, fight for them, and allow for them to succeed.

May God bless the Kardashian's, and may God bless the United States of America.

Lovingly Yours,
Ashley Marie

NCWITB: Joshua McKinley Will Change the World (Or At Least Your Closet)

 

I have been a huge Project Runway fan since the very first season. It's a show that has a special place in my heart because it beings my friends together every week and gives us something we can all talk about together. Every season provides us with an amazing group of talent to choose from, and every year there are contestants that push the envelope... both with their designs, and with their attitudes. For season 9, the clear front runner when it comes to personality is 25 year old fashion week finalist Joshua McKinley. Nobody cares what I think, but... I honestly believe Josh will not only shake up with world of high fashion, but his looks will be in our closets in  no time. Here's my proof:

My favorite Project Runway designer of all time was Season 4 winner Christian Siriano. Deemed the fashion wunderkind from the beginning, Siriano could whip out an amazing design almost as fast as he could spit out a sassy comeback. Having brought "fierce" and "die over it" back into our vocab, viewers rooted for Christian whether they loved him or hated him. Much like Joshua McKinley, his designs were often overworked, over-designed, and definitely quite often over the top... however... the judges took a chance on him and he ended up creating a runway show to die for (sorry, to die over) as well as a successful commercial career. 

With this support behind him I know that McKinley will do the same thing. He's got the same cutting attitude as Christian, and he has the thing that I feel is most important when it comes to fashion: he as a person is just as memorable as his clothes. Middle Class Fashionistas (MCF's) shell out the big bucks for big designers we've heard of, simple as that. My closet is filled with pieces I've starved to afford by designers such as Michael Kors, Diane Von Furstenburg, Betsey Johnson, and Calvin Klein. What do these people have in common besides their impeccable creations? They are all icons. Christian Siriano is trailblazing his way right on to that icon list, and I have no doubt that prancing right behind him will be Project Runway Season 9 finalist Joshua McKinley.

Those of us who donate our miniscule paychecks to fashion are having our moment in the sun. Thanks to Target's HUGE success with their new philosophy of bringing high end fashion to the mainstream (hello, Missoni merger!) I know that the time has come in which the voice of MCF's will be heard louder than ever. Credit has to be given to Siriano for creating looks that we can actually achieve. Having collaborated with Payless, Victorias Secret, BlueFly.com, Starbucks, and even O-Cel-O sponges... Siriano is doing his part to put high fashion into every day diva's hands.

If God is on our side, "Joshua McKinley for Target" will have a nice ring to it.. and because of his ability to be over the top while also being wearable, I think Josh will follow in Christian's footsteps and find his way into our studio apartment's already over stuffed closets. He doesn't necessarily need to be #1 to achieve these things, but with a Project Runway win under his belt there is no doubt that we'll be washing our dishes with McKinley designed sponges by this time next year.

Follow Josh on Twitter @JMcKinleyNYC
Follow Christian on Twitter @csiriano

NCWITB: Courtney Stodden & Doug Hutchinson May Be For Real (MAY be...)

If you follow the celebrity world at all, you have probably heard about the newest May-December romance scandal between 16 year old aspiring actress/singer Courtney Stodden and her husband, 51 year old actor Doug Hutchinson. Courtney hasn't done much up until this point but a smattering of YouTube videos that are tragic in a Heidi Montag sort of way, and Doug is most famous for his role in the Green Mile in which he plays the mean prison guard who doesn't put the sponge on the guys head before he electrocutes him.

Nobody cares what I think, but... there are a lot of factors at play here that are being lumped together to make one issue. There is the 35 year age difference, the fact that she seems to be overtly sexual for an underage girl, and the whole concept of marriage and that they are claiming to be in love. To me, none of these things are related to the other and you have have both positive or negative opinions on all 3 aspects separately.

First, their 35 year old age difference. This doesn't bother me at all, and to me it isn't a sign of any wrong doing here. People fall in love. They both have said they believe God brought them together, and I honestly believe they think He did. I am all for Age Gap Relationships (AGR's) because I think that they actually have a lot of aspects to them that make things easier, and I don't doubt for a second that these 2 really did want to get married. Plus, her parents had to sign a consent form and unless they are really terrible people, they obviously believed in this relationship too. The general public needs to get over the fact that people with age differences have sex, date, and fall in love. Inter-generational relationships are no different than homosexual or interracial relationships... if you don't like it: don't be in one.

Next, Courtney. Yes, she's a train wreck. She seems like she's on tranquilizers in most of her interviews and she is way too overtly sexual... but she's 16. If someone interviewed me at 16 I bet I probably seemed like a disaster, too. She's young and doesn't know much... but in a way that actually makes her love of Doug and her passion for her future sort of inspiring. Love and career are 2 huge things that people twice her age barely have figured out. I am worried by the people who are quick to write her off... with the state of Hollywood today, she's no worse or better than any of the other garbage out there and she deserves the opportunity to suck as much as the rest of them. Is she crazy? Probably. But if she is, she had these issues way before marrying Doug.

Lastly, their love. I think that it's probably real. It's true that Courtney has a lot of desperation in essence- she clearly wants to be famous any way that she can... but marry a 51 year old guy? If she thinks it's as disgusting as some of the couples critics do, there's no way she would have agreed to marry him. I think she really wants to be famous, but she doesn't seem like the kind of girl that would live 24 hrs a day with a man she thought was gross to do it... there's no way she's that good of a liar! Doug and Courtney would have gotten just as much attention if they just casually dated, so why the need to make it official if not for love? Also... she was a virgin before they got married, which takes some sort of scruples (especially when you look like her!) and she seems to be very happy with her life now. If your goal is to be a major celebrity, the first person you call isn't usually the creepy supporting actor in a decade old Tom Hanks movie... she must know it's going to take a little more effort than that to become a star. As for him loving her- why not? She's sexy, funny, ambitious, quirky, and a clean slate. Women Doug's age come with a lot of baggage usually... if he wanted a fresh, fun relationship that maybe someday included kids... or even just flexibility.... there's no question why he'd look to Courtney. AGR's are complicated but they can also be pretty basic: 2 people that can't find what they're searching for in the places they typically look.

I don't think these 3 issues can be piled together when making an educated decision on how you feel about them being together. People in relationships get to be themselves and they get to be their age... it doesn't effect their love. Super smart couples who are the same age can fail just as easily as Doug and Courtney, and do every day. As far as this case, and any other unconventional couple is concerned, I say judge the pieces as pieces and remember to have some respect. (This does not mean you can't roll your eyes every once in a while...)

5 Truth's Carrie Bradshaw Told Me (A NCWITB rebuttal)

5 Truth's Carrie Bradshaw Told Me
an indirect response to 5 Lies Carrie Bradshaw Told Me.

Many people try to argue that Sex and the City is completely unrealistic. No woman with that great of hair, who spends most of her time shopping, could really maintain an odd group of friends, several incredibly sexy lovers, and an apartment whose rent would be debilitating in the real world. My response to anyone who doubts this? Move to the city and watch us do it.
 
1. In a big city, your friendship group IS slap-together.
Everyone always comments on how there's no way that the 4 girls on Sex and the City would have ever been friends. Are you kidding me? Anyone who thinks this obviously wasn't at my friend Jenna's birthday get-together last week. An eclectic group of friends is what city living is all about- mostly because you start combining people from different areas of your life to create a support group. Friendship groups are NOT instantaneous. On Sex and the City, they all met seperately. They started meeting each other randomly, and one at a time each girl was added to the bunch. The bonds were formed within the group despite their personality quirks, and this is exactly like real life. Some of my friends are from high school, some are from college, some are from work, and some are just random people I met at the bar. Nonetheless, when it comes time to gather to help a friend with a break up or celebrate something special, we are all there... for better or for worse.

2. Sex is weird.
It is one of the central focuses of Sex and the City, and while it could be argued that "real people" don't have that much sex (though I disagree), I would like to point out the way they depict sex is very realistic. When you meet a new partner in the city, you never know what to expect. Totally normal guys may be into swinging, politicians may want to pee on you, and guys who love you (and even some who don't) will cheat on their wives to be with you. Unlike a fairytale chick flick movie where all sex happens after coming in from being caught in the rain, Sex and the City is absolutely real about the absurdities that you can encounter when dating in the big city. Condoms break. Lovers move away. Lets face it, people: being dumped on a post-it note, "funky tasting spunk," erectile dysfunction--- it's all just another night in New York City! (or Minneapolis, or Phoenix, or...)

3. Real estate is everything.
How could Carrie, who people think "barely works" and "spends all her money on fashion," afford an apartment like that in the city? She moved there in the 80's and it was rent controlled! While people always comment on her apartment being grand in size, its important to note that it wasn't necessarily grand in stature: she had done nothing to her place in 25 years but paint it a new coat of egg shell white (before redecorating in the 1st movie.) She found a cheap place that was perfect, and that's as much effort as she put into it. In the city, if you can find an incredible bargain, or location, or apartment: you hunker down and stay there! Carrie even held on to her apartment after moving into an incredible place with Big! And, Charlotte, having rallied so hard during the divorce for Trey's perfect Park Ave. apartment ended up staying there and raising her new family in it (even though her husband was a wealthy lawyer that could have easily bought another place.) Sex and the City got it right: if you're lucky in big-city-real-estate-love once, you marry for life.

4. The majority of a city girl's money is spent!
The girls spent a lot of money on clothes, we get it! Was it realistic? I say maybe. Every Sex and the City girl did stay true to her fashion sense. Charlotte spent her money on shoes that were lady like yet perfect for working at an art gallery. Yes, Carrie shelled out big bucks for funky pieces, but she had plenty of incredible vintage mixed in. Miranda was hardly shown shopping, and though she had her stylish moments, she could often be found in a Harvard t-shirt and sweat pants. Samantha always looked fabulous, but was rarely seen buying anything unless it was a major attention grabbing must-have (suiting her personality.) What would have made the show even more unbelievable is if every character showed up in every scene wearing the "hot new trend of the moment" like it was some teen sitcom on the WB. Carrie was the only one of her friends who sold her soul for new (shoe) soles... and that, I believe, is very realistic. Some girls in the city go broke due to keeping up with the nightlife, and some of us go broke keeping up with what's going on during the day, but the sad (yet fashionable!) truth is: most city girls do in fact have their money "hanging in their closet."

5. It always works out, but not always how you planned.
It was a long journey through 6 seasons and 2 movies, but in the end all the girls were happy. What makes this story "believable" though is that they were all happy in situations they never expected to find themselves in. Charlotte is the best example of this, and to me, a very realistic big city storyline: If Sex and the City was a faux-fairytale, things would have worked out with her marriage to Trey. He was a WASP doctor with a beautiful home, so of course in la-la-land his flaws would have been sugar coated. However, Charlotte (who could not handle Trey's sexual short comings and cold demeanor) leaves him and instead finds herself happily married to a Jewish husband and has two beautiful daughters, one of which is Asian. Now there's a real big-city-fairytale-ending! Between Samantha ending up happy on her own, to Miranda ending up happy in Brooklyn, big city living is all about searching for a winning hand in the cards you've been dealt. Carrie eventually does marry Mr. Big in very "Hollywood-ending," but even they have issues in the 2nd movie when he won't keep his smelly feet off the new furniture (how suburban of them...?) When it comes down to it, life in the city is has a very odd way of ending up wonderful more often than not... and come on... even you can't deny having your 3 close friends there with you makes the ride a little bit easier.



Comments? Questions? You know what to do. I'd love to hear from you below!